About Texans!
With apologies to no one.

Only a true Texan knows the difference between a
hissie fit and a coniption, and that you don't
"HAVE" them, -- you "PITCH" or "THROW" them.
And, neither one of them is pretty.

Only a true Texan knows how many fish, collard
greens, turnip greens, peas, beans, etc. make up "a

Only a true Texan can show or point out to you the
general direction of "yonder".

Only a true Texan knows exactly how long "directly"
is - as in: "Going to town, be back directly."

Even true Texas babies know that "Gimme some sugar"
is not a request for the white, granular sweet
substance that sits in a pretty little bowl on the
middle of the table.

All true Texans know exactly when "by and by" is.
They might not use the term, but they know the
concept well.

Only a true Texan knows instinctively that the best
gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble
is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of
cold potato salad. (If the neighbor's trouble is a
real crisis, they also know to add a large banana

Only true Texans grow up knowing the difference
between "right near" and "a right far piece." They
also know that "just down the road" can be 1 mile or

Only a true Texan both knows and understands the
difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and
po' white trash.

No true Texan would ever assume that the car with
the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a

A true Texan knows that "fixin'" can be used as a
noun, a verb, or an adverb.

Only a true Texan knows that the term "booger" is a
descriptive term, as in "that ol' booger", or
something that jumps out at you in the
dark and scares you senseless.

Only true Texans make friends while standing in
lines. We don't do "queues", we do "lines"; and when
we're "in line", we talk to everybody!

Put 100 true Texans in a room and half of them will
discover they're related, regardless of race, even
if only by marriage.

True Texans never refer to one person as "ya'll."

True Texans know grits come from corn and how to eat them.

Every true Texan knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon,
grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that
redeye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that
fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.

When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself
lookin' ... ," you know you are in the presence of a
genuine Texan!

Only true Texans say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk."
Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of
it - we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet
milk" means you don't want buttermilk.

A true Texan knows you don't scream obscenities
at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the
freeway. You just say, "Bless her heart" and go your
own way.

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