"The Disclaimer"

The material used comes from friends and different sources on the Internet; views and thoughts expressed in the humor do not necessarily reflect those of our family, our hamsters, our friends or any group we represent; material is provided "as is" without any warranties expressed or implied; user assumes full liabilities; not liable for damages due to use or misuse; this offer is void where prohibited, taxed, or otherwise restricted; all rights reserved; other copyright laws for specific jokes apply wherever noted; jokes are subject to change without notice; jokes are slightly enlarged to show detail; any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is unintentional and purely coincidental; hand wash only, tumble dry on low heat; do not bend, fold, mutilate, or spindle; your mileage may vary; no substitutions, exchanges or refunds allowed; for a limited time only; an equal opportunity joke conference; no shoes, no shirt, no jokes; if defects are discovered, do not attempt to fix them yourself, but return to an authorized service center; read at your own risk; keep away from sunlight, pets, and small children; limit one-per-family please; no money down; no purchase necessary; you need not be present to win; some assembly required; batteries are not included; action figures sold separately; no preservatives added; safety goggles may be required during use; sealed for your protection, do not use if the safety seal is broken; call before you dig; for external use only; if a rash, redness, irritation, or swelling develops, discontinue use; use only with proper ventilation; avoid extreme temperatures and store in a cool dry place; keep away from open flames and avoid inhaling fumes; avoid contact with mucous membranes; do not puncture, incinerate, or store above 120 degrees Fahrenheit; do not place near flammable or magnetic source; text used in the jokes is made from 100% recycled electrons and magnetic particles; no animals were used to test the hilarity of the jokes; no salt, MSG, artificial color or flavor added; if ingested, do not induce vomiting, if symptoms persist, consult a humorologist; slippery when wet; possible penalties for early withdrawal; joke offer valid only at participating e-mail sites; slightly higher west of the Rockies; allow four to six weeks for delivery; disclaimer does not cover hurricane, lightning, tornado, tsunami, volcanic eruption, earthquake, flood, and other acts of nature, misuse, neglect, unauthorized repair, damage from improper installation, broken antenna or marred cabinet, incorrect line voltage, missing or altered serial numbers, sonic boom vibrations, electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, and incidents owing to airplane crash, ship sinking, motor vehicle accidents, leaky roof, broken glass, falling rocks, mud slides, forest fire, flying projectiles, or dropping the item; other restrictions may apply; No COD, Not a member of FDIC, MSRP, APR or FOB, quantities are limited while supplies last, please see expiration date, lather, rinse, repeat, no facimilies or other mechanical reproductions allowed and read small print below for further details.

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All kidding aside, if there is something on this site that violates
a copyright or trademark restriction, it was certainly not intentional
and will be removed upon receipt of a notice.

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"The Stuff"
this page warned you about!